Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sometimes they see
Jana and Barry Bishop confess to enabling an abusive church leadership and offer an apology to spiritual abuse victims. Barry's post is here. Jana runs the Secret Life of a Bishop's Wife: What you may not see on Sunday blog, an excellent resource for those trying to figure out what goes through the head of those enabling spiritual abuse in churches.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
When pastors interfere with a marriage
This article, A Word to the Wives, explores the dangers that happen when a pastor intrudes into the sacred bond of a man and wife. It's found on the Wicked Shepherds site. Originally written with Reformed Baptists in mind, the article would help anyone finding themselves trying to be submissive to church leaders but worried about intrusion into the most personal areas of life.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Rick Ross Forums
Called Cult Education Forums, these boards are for people who are involved, or were previously involved, in abusive churches and cults to discuss their experiences with each other. Forums listed include the following:
Cults, Sects and New Religious Movements;
Abusive and Controllling Relationships;
Coercive Persuasion and Undue Influence;
Destructive Churchs
Some who are entangled in manipulative groups have found the strength to get out through interactions on forums like these.
Cults, Sects and New Religious Movements;
Abusive and Controllling Relationships;
Coercive Persuasion and Undue Influence;
Destructive Churchs
Some who are entangled in manipulative groups have found the strength to get out through interactions on forums like these.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Kira Love Counseling
Kira Love Counseling Services Kira, a former spiritual abuse victim and now a counselor, will provide counseling sessions, in some cases by telephone.
Kira has a Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Seattle Pacific University, with a focus on individual and couples’ work. She also earned a B.S. in Organizational Behavior at Seattle Pacific University. She is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), and she is accountable to the ethical codes of both the AACC and the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). This information was taken from her site. She also says this:
I counsel individuals, couples and families from a systemic, holistic lens, treating many disorders, issues, and life struggles, with a focus on: ~ complex and/or post traumatic stress disorders ~ childhood neglect and abandonment ~ insecure attachment styles and reparation ~ trauma and abuse (including spiritual/clergy and professional abuse) ~ grief and loss ~ depression and anxiety ~ relationship betrayal and crisis ~ pre-marital ~ drug, alcohol and food addictions ~ life transition and personal growth. You can find more information on her site linked above.
Kira has a Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy from Seattle Pacific University, with a focus on individual and couples’ work. She also earned a B.S. in Organizational Behavior at Seattle Pacific University. She is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), and she is accountable to the ethical codes of both the AACC and the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). This information was taken from her site. She also says this:
I counsel individuals, couples and families from a systemic, holistic lens, treating many disorders, issues, and life struggles, with a focus on: ~ complex and/or post traumatic stress disorders ~ childhood neglect and abandonment ~ insecure attachment styles and reparation ~ trauma and abuse (including spiritual/clergy and professional abuse) ~ grief and loss ~ depression and anxiety ~ relationship betrayal and crisis ~ pre-marital ~ drug, alcohol and food addictions ~ life transition and personal growth. You can find more information on her site linked above.
Breaking the Chains: Overcoming the Spiritual Abuse of a False Gospel
If you ever wondered why people stay in cults, Shari Howerton’s Breaking the Chains: Overcoming the Spiritual Abuse of a False Gospel gives a clear, readable explanation. Her story details a life molded and constricted by the sometimes arbitrary rules of a church that exercised control beyond what most Christians have ever experienced.
Howerton’s story is detailed and gripping. Because she was born into this cultish church, you will not learn much about the way such groups lure people in the first place, but you will see the mechanisms in place for keeping them captive once they belong. The intertwined relationships of family members, elitist doctrines and inculcated fears are clearly depicted.
In reading Breaking the Chains, you see one woman’s struggle to stay obedient, to follow the dictates of leaders, to conform to the expectations of the group while also fighting to maintain her personal identity. You follow the development of her mind and her search for truth and see her finally reach a point where she can break free from the bonds that held her life for decades.
It is sometimes hard to keep different individuals straight, especially toward the end, but it really makes no difference. The image of the church is a monolith and members work together as one to preserve the image at all costs.
Church leaders covered up pedophilia and sexual abuse, exerted pressure on members and their families, controlled through manipulative techniques very personal parts of members' lives and caused much pain and anguish. Members could not see that there was anything wrong with the controlling nature of the church and ostracized those who raised questions.
The role of the Internet in helping Howerton affirm her choice to break free from the group is made clear. Postings on message boards allowed former members to find each other and compare notes, resulting in a sense of wholeness and release. More on the main Provender site.
Howerton’s story is detailed and gripping. Because she was born into this cultish church, you will not learn much about the way such groups lure people in the first place, but you will see the mechanisms in place for keeping them captive once they belong. The intertwined relationships of family members, elitist doctrines and inculcated fears are clearly depicted.
In reading Breaking the Chains, you see one woman’s struggle to stay obedient, to follow the dictates of leaders, to conform to the expectations of the group while also fighting to maintain her personal identity. You follow the development of her mind and her search for truth and see her finally reach a point where she can break free from the bonds that held her life for decades.
It is sometimes hard to keep different individuals straight, especially toward the end, but it really makes no difference. The image of the church is a monolith and members work together as one to preserve the image at all costs.
Church leaders covered up pedophilia and sexual abuse, exerted pressure on members and their families, controlled through manipulative techniques very personal parts of members' lives and caused much pain and anguish. Members could not see that there was anything wrong with the controlling nature of the church and ostracized those who raised questions.
The role of the Internet in helping Howerton affirm her choice to break free from the group is made clear. Postings on message boards allowed former members to find each other and compare notes, resulting in a sense of wholeness and release. More on the main Provender site.
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