Human Chameleons and Brain Plasticity

an interesting discussion of the molding that takes place under the influence of narcissists called Human Chameleons and Brain Plasticity. Some examples:

• will often manipulate minor bullies... into acting as agents of harassment and as unwitting or unwilling conductors of vendettas
• is adept at placing people in situations where the sociopath can tap into each person's instinctive urge to retaliate in order to use them as his or her instruments or agents of harassment
• gains gratification from provoking others into engaging in adversarial conflict
• once conflict has been initiated, the sociopath gains increased gratification by exploiting human beings' instinctive need to retaliate - this is achieved by encouraging and escalating peoples' adversarial conflicts into mutually assured destruction
• revels in the gratification gained from seeing or causing other people's distress
• when faced with accountability or unwelcome attention which might lead to others discerning the sociopath's true nature, responds with repeated and escalating attempts to control, manipulate and punish
• is adept at reflecting all accusations and attempts at accountability back onto accusers
• is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information about the sociopath

Characteristics of a Sociopath

Characteristics of a Sociopath, quoted in a brave blog of survivors from a cult-like fellowship in Australia, Tales from the Crypt. Unfortunately, not always open to public view Tales of the Crypt gives a list of traits associated with sociopaths, and you can get a feel for things to watch out for if your group leader or pastor seems to be leading in an abusive direction. Gives a very detailed description of how abusive people manipulate followers.

Also, on that site was (not sure it's still accessible)this very insightful list of common excuses people give for their abusive pastors and church leaders:

• a) They aren’t like that all the time
• b) They are only like that with you
• c) They didn’t really mean it
• d) You don’t really understand them
• e) You are just being difficult
• f) You must have a problem with them (do you think?)
• g) That’s just the way they are
• h) They are just very passionate about their work

When Has Authority Gone Too Far?

When has Authority Gone Too Far? This article, also a Battered Sheep contribution, highlights the unhealthy way we've turned pastors to gods. It includes a list of 11 marks of perverted authority:

The claim of direct authority from God, rather than testing things by the Word

The command is to "submit to me," rather than "I will serve you"

The method of leadership is to "order" people around, rather than to appeal for them to do the right things

There is a dominating, "pushy" drive instead of a dependence on God to direct

There is a sense of control, rather than a sense of support

A gift is exploited so that others are made to feel dependent on it

There is an inflexibility--"don't question me"--"don't touch the Lord's anointed"

There is unapproachability and intimidation--the "aura" around the leader keeps the followers in "awe"

There emerges an organization built around a man and his peculiar emphases instead of around Christ and His Word

There will be cyclical challenges to the authority figure (which are immediately and forcefully purged)

There is more concern for maintaining the authoritarian structure than there is for caring about the people in it

Mind Control

Another site that shows the techniques abusers use, and compares them to mind control techniques used on prisoners of war is this from Margaret Singer's 6 Conditions for Thought Reform listed on the web site Refocus. This is more for hard-core cult followers, but some of the techniques used are recognizable in spiritually abusive groups that have not (yet) turned into cults.

Common Characteristics of How Cults Operate

Common Characteristics of How Cults Operate: Decent list that pinpoints techniques that cults, and controlling churches, use to capture and keep followers. Here is a sample: Intimidation and accusation are the most often used. For example, any questioning of authority is treated as rebellion, and not trusting. They suppress questions and conform to the group’s behavior. They Discourage Critical or Rational Thought and Questions. They will reply with comments like, "Satan is the cause of all doubt; he is keeping you from the Truth," or it will take time to understand the deep things of God. Critical thinking is discouraged being called prideful or sinful or rebellious. No independent thinking is encouraged.

Divination - Is it Real or Fake?

Does your pastor pretend he "knows your heart"? This article, by churchabuse.com, shows that the little mind tricks your pastor plays on you are not much different from occultic practices. Divination - Is it Real or Fake? shows how easy it is not to let abusive pastors have power over you in this way.

Insidious Harm of Spiritual Abuse

This brief and clearly organized article from Australia called The Insidious Harm of Spiritual Abuse cuts to the heart of the matter and discusses the four "rules" of spiritual abuse: Don't trust, Don't think, Don't talk and Don't question. Graham Barker, the author, also provides several short case studies.

What god are you worshiping in a spiritually abusive church?

What god are you worshiping in a spiritually abusive church? That is the question Dale Ryan seeks to answer in his article: If your god is not God, fire him. Highlights:
Let me be clear about this. The god who is quick to anger and slow to forgive is not a “distorted image of God.” It is the opposite of God. It’s the wrong god. It’s not God at all. It’s not that I was looking in the right direction but just couldn’t see clearly. I was looking in the wrong direction entirely. It was the wrong god. There is, of course, a whole pantheon of not-Gods. Take your pick:

The angry, abusive god

The abandoning god

The inattentive god

The impotent god

The shaming god

Flattery and manipulation

Many abusive pastors use flattery to manipulate. This article from Wittenberg Gate explores the danger of flattery.

Battered Sheep

Battered Sheep Ministries: This page provides links to various articles on the topic of spiritual abuse. Titles include these and many more: Abuse of Authority in the Church; The Bible and Spiritual Abuse; Is Your Church Free from Cultic Tendencies? and many other great resources.

Australian Clergy Abuse

This Australian site called Clare's Blog: Clergy Abuse Australia, (also drawing on The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse) sums up spiritual abuse nicely for any spiritually abusive situation, in Australia or anywhere else. Part of the post includes this list:

Other contenders for spritually abusive characteristics:

1) Loyalty to the group/minister is equated to loyalty to God.

2) Using biblical texts to assert control.

3) Pressure to convert - for example “we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, and it’s important you make a decision NOW”.

4) Guilt giving - that is, intimidation to give, such as “giving less than X is withholding yourself from God [or, stealing from God, according to Malachi 3:8]“.

5) Inherited leadership - such as the minister’s son becoming the youth leader, without any form of selection process. This, in itself, is not abusive, but it certainly allows for the perpetuation of abuse by keeping the already-established patterns of behaviour in-house. Unfortunately, in a congregation that is being systematically spiritually abused, such inherited leadership is often celebrated rather than questioned.

Narcissism in the Pulpit

Narcissism in the Pulpit, includes a wealth of good information about what's behind a leader's need to control abusively. (The spooky, medieval background template behind this page is annoying as anything, but I found that cutting and pasting into a Word file is helpful, and the information is worth the trouble.) The site uses a World Health Organization definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: “Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a disorder in which a person has a grandiose self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, a driven desire for attention and admiration, an intolerance of criticism, and disturbed self-centered interpersonal relations..."
Authoritarian pastors may be driven by a personality disorder like this one. Knowing what to expect and how manipulation works can be quite helpful, especially for those still enmeshed in an abusive situation. Five of nine listed criteria must be met for someone to be categorized as a clinical narcissist. Among them: obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, interpersonally exploitive, sense of entitlement, firmly convinced of own uniqueness and specialness...

Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual Abuse by Scott Nicloy, a Salvation Army counselor. This article explores reasons behind spiritual abuse and the sometimes unintended nature of it. It also includes something on former alcoholics who become spiritually abusive pastors, an angle I had not seen before. Nicloy talks about black and white thinking, zealotry, power hunger, perfectionism, isolationism and other signs of an abusive church.

Abuser Characteristics

Discovered at Under Much Grace blog is this perceptive collection of abuser traits - culled from several sources - entitled Characteristics of a Spiritual Abuser. It's all fascinating stuff, but among the most interesting to me are these headings: Demystifying the guru's power (why do we assign such power to these mere men and women?) and The Authoritarian Power Dynamic.

Eight Signs of an Aberrational Group

Also describing "fringe" groups is the New England Institute of Religious Research with Eight Signs of an Aberrational Christian or Bible-based Group:

• Scripture twisting
• Controlling leader or leadership
• Separation or isolation of members
• The chosen few (spiritual elitism)
• Uniformity of lifestyle
• No dissent
• Traumatic departure
• In transition (to a less healthy system)

Voices from the Fringe

Voices from the Fringe is a good place to see what kinds of extremes spiritual abuse can lead to. Ron Enroth, author of Churches that Abuse (see above), writes about different techniques abusive groups use and what the result is. Enroth lists the common threads he finds in these groups:

• An emphasis on spiritual experiences
• An increased focus on the role of demons
• A large proportion of members with personal, emotional, and dependency needs
• A teaching emphasis on attitudinal sins (such as rebelliousness, lack of submission, pride, and self-centeredness)
• An unhealthy dependence on those in authority
• Few checks and balances
• Minimal leadership accountability
• A defensiveness that results in intolerance of member-critics

Barnabas Ministry

Barnabas Ministry offers a well-organized site that helps someone in a questionable church decide if their church is leaning toward the unhealthy or dangerous. It summarizes traits from different sources on the subject of spiritual abuse, then gives a list of things to watch for, and then asks some questions that should help anyone who is confused about the direction their church is going. The one problem with the site, however, is that for part of the site (at least in my browsers), you must scroll sideways for a long time in order to read each line. Very annoying.
Some of the evaluation questions:

• What did you spend your time on this week with regards to the group?


• Did you really want to do it, or did you do it only because you were told to do it?


• Did you "filter" anything from a higher-up to a subordinate?


• Do you see problems with the system?


• Do you have any way to bring these up and have them taken seriously?


• Do you find yourself making statements and positions of the leadership more palatable for others?


• Do you really want others to have what you have concerning your church?

On another page of Barnabas Ministry , called Uncovering and Facing Spiritual Abuse, is an account of an abusive situation that may not at first be recognized as abusive.

Abusive Churches

Abusive Churches by Pat Zukeran is based on Ron Enroth's book, Churches that Abuse. It details abusive techniques without the stories of abuse and is more description than narration. A quick reference. Some of the items Zukeran lists are these: Control-oriented leadership; manipulation of members; rigid, legalistic lifestyle; frequent changing of group/church name; denouncing of all other churches; painful exit process; targeting young adults. A more readable version is HERE.

Warning Signs

Warning Signs is cult expert Rick Ross's list of things to look for, not just in a potential cult leader, but in those who are followers of cult leaders -- and also what to look for in a safe group.

This is an essential list for anyone looking to attend a new church because you never know at first what kind of group you may be joining. At first, spiritually abusive groups often bombard new members or attendees with love and care. Some warning signs of abusive leaders:

• Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability


• no tolerance for questions or critical inquiry


• unrealistic fears about the outside world


• the leader always needing to be right.


• Some warning signs of cult followers:


• Leader criticism is characterized as "persecution"


• extreme obsessiveness toward leader or group, resulting in the exclusion of every practical concern


• a dramatic loss of spontaneity and sense of humor


• former followers are, at best, considered negatively, and at worst considered evil


• anything the leader does can be justified, no matter how harsh or harmful.

Rest Ministries

Rest Ministries This site includes a peek into what constitutes spiritual abuse. It is a valuable resource because it cuts through the tangled nature of abusive groups and pulls it apart into clear categories that are easy to explore. The site goes into great detail on ways abusive leaders manipulate and abuse their authority. The only drawback of the site is that chapters on elitism, denunciation of outsiders, spiritual intimidation, legalism, false unity and others have remained "under construction" for years. It's too bad because it looked like a helpful list. In any case, the pages on manipulation and authoritarianism are excellent.