Matthew 18

Provender's links to a cogent treatise on Matthew 18 and spiritual abuse http://communiosanctorum.com/?p=96called Principles, not Procedures have been broken for some time, as the Prophezei site we had linked to disappeared, but I found Kevin D. Johnson's article on a different site and have now restored the link. Johnson raises some interesting issues about the context of Matthew 18 and says this:

It has been noted by more than one that quite likely this passage about going to a brother privately and then taking two or more and then to the church is a process which is primarily concerned with dealing with sin in and among a circle of leadership that you are a part of since our Lord was talking to the would be leaders of the church as he outlined these things. These are the men who are to treat little children with the dignity they deserve granted to them by our Father in heaven, the ones who ought to be going after the one instead of the ninety-nine, and the ones who have received forgiveness at the hands of our Lord and should not forget that same graciousness when dealing with those under their charge who also owe them as well. That is the context of Matthew 18 and we find our Lord’s words about offenses in and among this context.
There is nothing in the passage that says that this is how a layman must approach a pastor or session in confronting sin. Wisdom should tell you that the deck is already stacked against you and to think this is the way to proceed in every case is to go well beyond what the basic outline of Matthew 18 proposes. Nor is there anything here in this 18th chapter as to how a person must confront their leadership at all with sin. It may very well be that the wisest thing to do in that type of situation is to leave as quietly as possible and not utter a word to the leadership or others that you have issues with what they have done. 
There is much more to the article, and it deserves a thorough reading by anyone debating the proper context or usage of that passage. 

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

Many sources on spiritual abuse cite Jeff VanVonderen and David Johnson's book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. It is a groundbreaking work and is still popular today. Some say that these authors were the first to coin the term "spiritual abuse." This review provides a detached, analytical view of some kinds of spiritual abuse. The most helpful parts to me are those discussing the abusive pastor's emphasis on his own authority - called here "power posturing" - and on the Can't Talk rule. A more inclusive summary of the book, and very good checklist is here. Some highlights:

Spiritual abuse occurs when shame is “used in an attempt to get someone to support a belief, or…to fend off legitimate questions”. (p.22) “In a place where authority is grasped and legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous, or unspiritual people outside of the system who are trying to weaken or destroy ‘us’. This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave—because they will be outsiders, too.”

Accountability in the Bible

Accountability in the Bible Abusive churches and leaders often have a skewed view of accountability. While the peons (you) are held accountable to a human shepherd (them) often they are not held accountable to anyone.
How did authority and accountability work in the New Testament? This site from ICSA (International Cultic Studies Association) lays out the scriptural framework and points out the trouble with churches and groups that abuse people's willingness to be held accountable. Another work by the same author is this one on why Evangelicals are vulnerable to cultic influence.

Stop Spiritual Abuse

Stop Spiritual Abuse contains an abundance of articles that challenge abusive systems. Are pastors more anointed? This article by John R. Anderson corrects a basic misunderstanding and reminds readers of the "priesthood of all believers" mentioned in Revelation 1:6. After reading this, you'll realize how absurd it is to take certain Biblical passages the way abusive pastors use them.Other headings include these: Christians criticizing Christians: Is it biblical?; Unlimited authority from Twisted Scriptures by Mary Alice Chrnalogar; Beyond Accountibility from the same author; and a whole lot of others.

Voices from the Fringe

Voices from the Fringe is a good place to see what kinds of extremes spiritual abuse can lead to. Ron Enroth, author of Churches that Abuse (see above), writes about different techniques abusive groups use and what the result is. Enroth lists the common threads he finds in these groups:

• An emphasis on spiritual experiences
• An increased focus on the role of demons
• A large proportion of members with personal, emotional, and dependency needs
• A teaching emphasis on attitudinal sins (such as rebelliousness, lack of submission, pride, and self-centeredness)
• An unhealthy dependence on those in authority
• Few checks and balances
• Minimal leadership accountability
• A defensiveness that results in intolerance of member-critics