Voices from the Fringe

Voices from the Fringe is a good place to see what kinds of extremes spiritual abuse can lead to. Ron Enroth, author of Churches that Abuse (see above) writes about different techniques abusive groups use and what the result is. Enroth lists the common threads he finds in these groups:

• An emphasis on spiritual experiences
• An increased focus on the role of demons
• A large proportion of members with personal, emotional, and dependency needs
• A teaching emphasis on attitudinal sins (such as rebelliousness, lack of submission, pride, and self-centeredness)
• An unhealthy dependence on those in authority
• Few checks and balances
• Minimal leadership accountability
• A defensiveness that results in intolerance of member-critics

What Really Matters blog

From Set Free on What Really Matters blog is this perspective on the gains you can experience if you leave an abusive group: Here are some strengths I have noticed that develop in people when they leave controlling churches:

Greater compassion and empathy towards others

Analytical thinking (You think deeply about core concerns. From this point forward you will exercise keen judgment and discernment so you will never find yourself in the same situation again.)

Greater level of honesty and trustworthiness (You are so disgusted at the lies, fraud, dishonesty, and even criminality that went on, it makes you resolve yourself to live in a higher degree of honor and trustworthiness. You don’t want to be anything like your former leaders.)

Social/community activism (You are so tired of looking inward and catering to the needs of selfish leaders, you become extremely enthusiastic about reaching out and serving others.)

Fearlessness (You have given into a bully for so long, it’s time to stand up for yourself and take a new direction. You decide no one is going to control you or stand in your way! You also decide to step out and go after your dreams.)

Courage

Gratitude (You are so glad to be free from the control, manipulation, and harsh judgment you were under, you become more thankful even for the little things in life.)

Inquisitiveness and curiosity (You realize it’s okay to question anything!)

Sense of direction and purpose

Flexibility

Openness

Ability to show emotion

Ability to be yourself

Ability to find meaning in adversity

Ability to cope with difficulties (After all that you experienced and dealt with in a controlling church, handling the normal strains of everyday life seem like nothing. If you have survived a controlling, abusive situation, you can survive just about anything!)

Under Much Grace

Another blog with a panoply of resources

Under Much Grace is frequently updated and lists many helpful observations about spiritual abuse. Some of the articles it links to include titles such as these: Why doctrinal statements tell you nothing of the unwritten rules of manipulative groups; Thought reform and Lifton 101; The elements of spiritual abuse; cult leaders and con artists; Why it's so hard to leave an abusive situation. The analysis in some of these articles is very enlightening and helpful. Also, it has lately been organized in an extremely useful way, with clear links to good sources.