When leadership apathy encourages spiritual abuse

I found this link on FBCJAXwatchdog's blog. Pajama pages blog chronicles a horrific series of acts church members did to a Christian college professor critical of church practices. The abuse included sending a fake letter of resignation to his college-employer, interfering with an adoption and posting fake, obscene twitters to smear the member-critic. The leadership did almost nothing to stop the harassment.

Manipulation in Churches

When Geocities folded in October, a very important site on spiritual abuse from Rest Ministries was no longer accessible. Before it disappeared, however, I copied some of the information on the site and saved it. I now have it linked to the Provender site. It's valuable because it describes in vivid detail the way abusive leaders manipulate followers.

Dimly Lit

A post emphasizing the abuses that occur when love is forgotten.

Quivering Daughters Blog

When women are primary targets of a spiritually abusive system, it helps to have support from other women. From a distinctly female perspective, Quivering Daughters blog provides support for women abuse victims and links to many good resources on spiritual abuse and victimhood.

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

Many sources on spiritual abuse cite Jeff VanVonderen and David Johnson's book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. It is a groundbreaking work and is still popular today. Some say that these authors were the first to coin the term "spiritual abuse." This review provides a detached, analytical view of some kinds of spiritual abuse. The most helpful parts to me are those discussing the abusive pastor's emphasis on his own authority - called here "power posturing" - and on the Can't Talk rule. A more inclusive summary of the book, and very good checklist is here. Some highlights:

Spiritual abuse occurs when shame is “used in an attempt to get someone to support a belief, or…to fend off legitimate questions”. (p.22) “In a place where authority is grasped and legislated, not simply demonstrated, persecution sensitivity builds a case for keeping everything within the system. Why? Because of the evil, dangerous, or unspiritual people outside of the system who are trying to weaken or destroy ‘us’. This mentality builds a strong wall or bunker around the abusive system, isolates the abusers from scrutiny and accountability, and makes it more difficult for people to leave—because they will be outsiders, too.”

Characteristics of a Sociopath

Characteristics of a Sociopath, quoted in a brave blog of survivors from a cult-like fellowship in Australia, Tales from the Crypt. Unfortunately, not always open to public view Tales of the Crypt gives a list of traits associated with sociopaths, and you can get a feel for things to watch out for if your group leader or pastor seems to be leading in an abusive direction. Gives a very detailed description of how abusive people manipulate followers.

Also, on that site was (not sure it's still accessible)this very insightful list of common excuses people give for their abusive pastors and church leaders:

• a) They aren’t like that all the time
• b) They are only like that with you
• c) They didn’t really mean it
• d) You don’t really understand them
• e) You are just being difficult
• f) You must have a problem with them (do you think?)
• g) That’s just the way they are
• h) They are just very passionate about their work